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23 Transmale Secretly a Cuddlefish

charliehasnohead asked:
Hmm, havent seen that movie. Yours sounds better. Okay, what would you do if you were trapped in a dull and predictable romantic comedy with 1 dimensional love interest and a bounty on your head?
whatsaquestion replied:

(That movie was called Mirrors, it’s supposed to be horror, but it’s just kinda bad.)

I would fake my own death and claim the bounty! Then I’d ride off into the sunset with my 1-dimensional love interest.

But oh no, the love interest turns out to be a bounty hunter that actually plans to kill me and get the real bounty, so we’d have an epic fight and I’d have to kill the one I loved the most!

The love interest activates the self destruct on our spaceship as a final act of vengeance, and I’m forced to use the onboard teleporter without having time to enter any coordinates! This teleports me to a random planet where I am revered by the small green creatures as a god! I fall in love with the tribe’s shaman and we rule together and also defeat a big monster that was threatening their tribe by using clever tactics and teamwork!

((i was referencing Oculus, which is lame and also secretly just an asphyxiation fetish film but no one warned me))

And as you sit with your tiny green wife, her nearing the end of her life cycle and you nearing your 28th birthday, you look at the thirteen generations of babies you two have created, she turns to you and croaks in her low raspy voice “this is heaven…” ((only it sounds more like “SMURGAPLURD” because shes an alien))

..and then stabs you in the back with a rusty spoon and leaps to her feet, standing as tall as her diminutive stature will allow, and crows her victory. 

FOR YOUR FIRST LOVE WAS HER MOTHER, and all of this was an elaborate revenge scheme, in which she would make you father an entire race of hybrids to be used to destroy your home planet, and also all the cutest races in the universe which are smaller than breadboxes.

…which makes your life together pretty creepy in hindsight.

gearsmoke:

totallyamelia:

imightgetcynical:

totallyamelia:

Yeaaaahhh…

Marriage equality is cool and all, but uh…

Trickle down equality, yo!

I’m a little confused by the language.  Does this mean states in which this argument is considered a valid excuse?  Or does it actually count as an extra offense in California?  Cos I mean, I would totally back more severe sentencing for people who admit to hate crimes.

Its the gay panic defense. It’ll usually get you ‘manslaughter’ charger, instead of murder or ‘hate crime’. It pretty much says that if you found out someone was trans (or were gay and you felt like they were tryign to flirt with you) you are considered to have murdered them in something close ot self defense. You get reduced sentencing and can sometimes just get away with it, because legally its considered to be understandable that you would ‘panic’ when confronted by gay or trans people.
In california they recently (this month!) abolished the ‘gay panic defense’, so now its not a good excuse. If you murder someone, saying ‘well he was gay and flirting with me and i panicked!’ and ‘i realized she had a penis, and i panicked!’ wont work, and its finally  recognized as a hate crime. No other state has gotten rid of it yet. 

gearsmoke:

totallyamelia:

imightgetcynical:

totallyamelia:

Yeaaaahhh…

Marriage equality is cool and all, but uh…

Trickle down equality, yo!

I’m a little confused by the language.  Does this mean states in which this argument is considered a valid excuse?  Or does it actually count as an extra offense in California?  Cos I mean, I would totally back more severe sentencing for people who admit to hate crimes.

Its the gay panic defense. It’ll usually get you ‘manslaughter’ charger, instead of murder or ‘hate crime’. It pretty much says that if you found out someone was trans (or were gay and you felt like they were tryign to flirt with you) you are considered to have murdered them in something close ot self defense. You get reduced sentencing and can sometimes just get away with it, because legally its considered to be understandable that you would ‘panic’ when confronted by gay or trans people.

In california they recently (this month!) abolished the ‘gay panic defense’, so now its not a good excuse. If you murder someone, saying ‘well he was gay and flirting with me and i panicked!’ and ‘i realized she had a penis, and i panicked!’ wont work, and its finally  recognized as a hate crime. No other state has gotten rid of it yet.